


The four times 5SOS saves Ash and the one that 1D does. (I won't blame you, I'll just turn and go)

by Youreeverythingihad



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:04:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youreeverythingihad/pseuds/Youreeverythingihad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title pretty much says it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The four times 5SOS saves Ash and the one that 1D does. (I won't blame you, I'll just turn and go)

When you're in a mood the worst place to be is stuck in a confined space with your best friends, and a lot of strangers that you don't even know. Ashton isn't really sure what's worse so he's been switching been the two and people are beginning to notice. 

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin!" It's being said in a tone that sounds a lot like when his mom tells him off so he freaks out a little and starts flapping his arms. He accidentally hits something; judging by the pain in his arm a counter. "Ow fuck" Nope, actually that's a very solid Michael. 

"Shit, no. I. Fuck. Mike" And he's being pulled towards the bunks before he can even finish his attempted sentences. 

"Shh" And then he's gone and Ash can't breathe, it's coming out in little gasps and his eyes are burning and it's all going wrong. 

"Cause Jersey just got cold again" The music's not drowning out the voices in his head and he's too hot and everyone's too close yet they're too far and everything's wrong and- He's being dragged by his wrist and he doesn't know where. 

That's how Ashton ends up bare foot in the middle of some woods on the edge of a road. 

"Fuck Ashton, just breathe for me yeah? Breathe with me" There's a chest under his hand and then the words "In and out, in and out" Over and over again in his head. Then their heart beats become one and it's so loud in his head it drowns out all the voices in there too. 

It's colder now and it's dark and he's tired and everything's still wrong but he can breathe so something is right. 

"Thank you Mikey" He says into the hug, the hug that hurts because it's so strong yet he wouldn't let go for the world. 

\---

The next time he's aware of what's going on there's a pain in his arm and he doesn't know why. There's a nice purple bruise right there and it does hurt when he pokes it, evidently. 

"Ow, what?" It's a nice way to wake a bus full of sleep deprived people. 

"Shut the fuck up Ash and sleep" Lovely Mike, lovely. But he can't, he's too awake and he needs to get out and move but they're on a bus and it's locked and he's stuck. 

"Ash, come and sit with me?" Luke is a fucking god-send. 

They sit in semi-comfortable silence with Ash between Luke's legs and him playing with his hair but then Ash's mind won't stop and he's going a little bit insane. 

"Just talk to me, tell me what's happening in your head? Let me in a little bit." He accompanies the comment with a flick to the head that Ash jumps at and flails a little, it's not as lethal as the one with Michael but he really needs to control it. 

"I... I just. Like. I dunno" He takes a deep breath, considering how to put it into words and then it all comes tumbling out his mouth. 

"I just, I'm never good enough and i'm not enough and i'm wrong and stupid and I fuck up and nothing's right and everything is wrong, I'm just wrong." Luke doesn't even react, he just presses a kiss to Ashton's temple and distracts him with a game of Mario Kart, his head's a little bit clearer for now. He's so distracted that he misses the boys of One Direction who are watching through the doorway. 

\-----

He manages to keep his mind in check for long enough to play a few shows and see a lot of fans but then he's talking to fans and there's one girl at a show and he's just so fucking nice and then his opinion spirals down and he's lost again. 

"Can you get me some towels" And he does because it's polite but then she just shoves him and calls him pathetic and that'a how he ends up in the room with Calum and four walls and a hell of a lot of anger. 

"Just fuck" And he turns to punch the wall but Calum's there and he can't punch him so he turns again and there's a mirror and he punches it and then the wall beneath it and then he's crying and screaming and it's all so wrong. 

"Shh. Ash, calm down mate" It's Calum's arms that bring him back to himself, they're warm and safe and home and he's content. 

His hand hurts though and it's covered in blood and red and swelling and so fucked up. 

When he gets it cleaned up later he catches the disapproving looks from the One Direction boys but he doesn't understand the real reason behind them so goes insane thinking about the reasons why. 

\------

Luke, Calum and Michael are literally like his angels or some shit because they've saved him. Literally saved him from himself, he's been okay for over a week now because he hasn't had time to stop and think, there's always someone distracting him with something or someone until the moment where he's too tired to go to sleep and the moment he wakes up so he doesn't have time to stop and let the self hate build an brew, instead he just focuses on playing drums and not getting caught. 

But it goes wrong again, he sees a tweet, just one tweet and he freaks out. He's not good enough, not enough, never enough. This time he does it alone though because the other boys have enough to deal with, so he plasters a smile on and pretends it's okay and he's not going insane at all. 

"Assshyyy, you okay" 

"Never better"

"Irwwiii, how ya feeling"

"Purr-fect"

"You holding up okay, old man"

"Yes my young one"

\---

Niall's spent so long faking smiles that he sees straight through Ashton's act and he has a plan, and then he and Harry have a plan, and then he and One Direction, and then One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer have a plan, and then everyone but Ashton has a plan. 

A plan designed to help Ashton get out of his little dip.  

"Just trust me and walk forwards"

"But why would I?" Yet his movements are contradicting his words as he follows where the hands guide him. 

"We're here" And the blindfolds taken off and he's in a room, a room full of colourful words and horrible words. 

Idiot, stupid, weird, wanker, wrong, mistake and so many more fill the wall in front of him and he wants to cry, feels his eyes fill up but then he looks closer and he cries, straight out sobs because he's so happy. 

Ashton is such an idiot, I love him. He's such a wanker, marry me?? Why doesn't he ever make a mistake? 

They're all tweets too him, about him and they fill a whole room. 

"I fuckin love you guys" And it's followed by a group hug and a lot of crying and he's okay again, as okay as anyone ever will be and now the smile reaches his eyes again. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you prefer to tell me your opinion on tumblr you can go to: isaidiwannarunaway.tumblr.com :) thanks and feedback is always lovely, good or bad. One shot requests are always lovely :)


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